What Do the Elderly Really Need, Want, or Enjoy?
Posted by Donna Mae Scheib on March 24, 2019
What Do the Elderly Really Need, Want, or Enjoy?
Lessons Learned from Ruby Kate Chitsey’s The Three Wishes Project
What do the elderly really need, want, or enjoy to make their quality of life a little bit better?
This is a common question many of us who have senior loved ones wrestle with. Or maybe we do not really take the time to think too much about it. After all, they may be living in a facility a distance away from us or we may think their needs are taken care of. Or we just might be too busy and focused on our own careers, hobbies, and families.
Ruby Kate Chitsey’s Three Wishes Project
Perhaps we can all learn a lesson from 11-year-old Ruby Kate Chitsey and her Three Wishes Project.
After spending a summer helping her mother who works with several different nursing facilities in Harrison, Arkansas, Ruby Kate, a soon-to-be fifth grader, was inspired to help elderly residents herself.
It all started one of those summer days when she saw an elderly resident looking sadly out the window at someone walking a dog out to a car parked in the parking lot. Ruby Kate could not figure out why the lady was so sad and why she sat near the window and stared outside for such a long time.
The resident then told Ruby Kate that the dog was hers but she did not know when she would see the dog again. The nursing facility did not take any pets and she was paying more than $10 for the family member to bring the dog to visit. The lady went on to mention that she just could not afford too many visits each month and that is why she was so sad. She really missed her beloved dog. It was one thing to have to give the dog up; it was yet another not to be able to see her dog as much as she wanted to.
What Action Did Ruby Kate Take?
That got Ruby Kate thinking. She knew that she had some money saved up in her piggy bank. She could help pay for a few more dog visits each month. And she knew that this would be a welcome treat and the dog visits would bring happiness to the resident.
Ruby Kate then began to spend her time at the nursing facility by visiting with some other seniors. She asked them the same basic question: “If you could have three wishes in the whole wide world, what would they be?” She listened attentively and wrote the answers down, each answer besides a person’s name that she interviewed, in a spiral notebook. As you can imagine, there were a vast number of wishes.
Types of Wishes Expressed
The answers even surprised her mother and may surprise you, too. No one asked for a million dollars or an expensive new car. No one asked for luxurious jewelry or a costly trip. In fact, although there were a lot of answers, many of them appeared to be quite similar.
Many of the individuals simply wanted a certain fast food favorite (e.g., French fries, a cheeseburger with all the fixings, a thick milkshake to sip with a straw, a cold soda, a Happy Meal). Other foods (e.g., fresh fruit in season or a bag of peanuts, popcorn, or chips, a frosted cupcake, a chocolate candy bar) were frequently requested. Many said they had not had these favorites in years.
Others merely wished for a stylish sweater, a pair of pants that actually fit, shoes that they could comfortably walk in and that had Velcro straps to assist with getting them on/off with ease, a thick woolen blanket or downy quilt, a soft pillow with a waterproof pillowcase, a long-overdue haircut and updated style or a manicure complete with sparkling nail polish.
One lady wanted to go to a nearby waterpark just to watch children with their families enjoy the afternoon fun. Someone else wanted pictures framed of their family members to be displayed on the wall of their room.
The Three Wishes Project Goals
Thus, began Ruby’s Three Wishes Project. Her goal was to raise sufficient funds so these seniors’ wishes could actually come true. Ruby Kate’s mother assisted with setting up both a GoFundMe and an Amazon Wishlist for the project.
Since November of 2018, the crowdfunding campaigns have raised more than $60,000. And with this heart-warming initiative, Ruby Kate was nominated as a “Kid Hero” by GoFundMe in honor of Giving Tuesday, a global day of charitable giving that falls the Tuesday after Thanksgiving Day in the United States. (1,000 kids are nominated each year on Giving Tuesday with a matching monetary gift of $1,000 awarded to each honoree from the GoFundMe organization.)
Impacts of the Three Wishes Project
Both of the crowdfunding campaigns and the “Kid Hero Award” nomination helped bring more awareness of the elderly population and their access to getting the things they really want, need, and enjoy − things that would help make their quality of life just a little bit better.
To date, people from Italy, Spain, the UK, France, and many states in the United States have contributed to the project. Other nursing facilities in Arkansas and throughout the United States and in several countries abroad have expressed interest in setting up their own projects modeled after Ruby’s Three Wishes Project. Ruby Kate’s Facebook page is filled with comments from good wishers and those who want to help with the project. There are others who have shared comments about what they intend to do for the elderly population or for their loved ones in particular.
Lessons Learned from the Three Wishes Project
Through her daughter’s initiative, Ruby’s mother was reminded that family members may not be fully aware of their loved ones’ desires. Or they may be unable to step in and provide the little extras. She also acknowledged that the elderly population, although often served ably through Medicaid for room and board subsidies at nursing centers, is left with only a little extra money each month for necessities. And if they do not qualify for Medicaid, their money may be routinely allotted for specific monthly fees and other basic living expenses that eliminate the possibility of any money for the “little extras.”
As the news of Ruby Kate and her loving gesture and self-less action spreads via social media and through other more traditional communication modes (e.g., live news reports and newspapers), more of us are readily able to see the positive impact of such an act of kindness.
What Can You Do to Make a Difference?
Each of us can ask ourselves, “What can I do?” “How can I make a difference?”
What Do Your Senior Loved Ones Need, Want, or Enjoy?
And maybe more of us now are better equipped to know what our senior loved ones may need, want, or enjoy − things that would help make their quality of life just a little bit better.
That is if we take the time to ask them.
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